is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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