So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
