She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
