drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
