This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
