Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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