so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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