Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just cut my nipple shaving
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I think i got beer on your cat.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
