i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Boobs speak an international language.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
