But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
