Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize