I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
