I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
