Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
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