OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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