Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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