she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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