i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
