i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The feeling are messing with the penis
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
