mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
