What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's rum buckets o'clock
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
