There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
