I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
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