Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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