I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
