Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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