Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
