tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
