Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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