Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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