Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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