whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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