Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
