im gay
i know
yea but for you.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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