He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
