using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
