i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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