I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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