sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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