is your mom at the bar?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
