did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Randomize
