Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize