I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
