If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I pour the whiskey from now on
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
