dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
