You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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