I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
barbara walters just said penis...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
