i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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