I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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