OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
