I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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