Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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