I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
